No foreplay or intro here this time…  Read on if you are aspiring drinker,teetotaler or existing player. The marathon guide to drinking 101 “for those who are in it for da long haul”.

1. If you think you can stand your ground after 6 drinks always plan to have 3 (the other 3 is your ‘balls’ playing mind games with your brain). This way you end up having 4 drinks an’ goin home a lil happy a lil tipsy.
2. Its normal for males to shy away from Vodka,Gin & towards whiskey after your 24-25 yrs. Its called ‘alcoholic menopause’
3. If the bar/pub doesn’t belong to your dad at the beginning of the evening is still doesn’t when you’re at the bottom of da 6th peg. (Tips to keep your arse from gettin a whopping).
4. Ballmers peak is a myth invented by them FSF buggers. Zilch… non existant.
5. Chance are that if you’re at a pub that plays rock/trance/techno you will not get the DJ to play that ‘mundiya’ song for you even if you’ve downed the 10th peg.
6. Bhangra and the mallu pooram(temple festival) dance don’t look very nice when Metallica is playing in the background.
7. If you couldn’t get away with squeezing those cheeks at da beginning of the evening you still can’t after 4 drinks.
8. DON’T STARE (unless ‘fcourse if its at your drink).
9. Sad but true – You don’t develop 6 packs nor killer biceps by having 4 drinks if you didn’t already have them.
10. Even if you find yourself at the bottom of the bottle you just can’t fire you boss. Not happening mate. yea Life is a bitch
11. Don’t get scared if you feel like getting a tattoo after a hitting da bottle hard. 80% people sitting around you are probably thinkin da same thing
12. Puking is a normal bodily reaction to excess alcohol content in your body… So go ahead… Like daddy told you when you were 8… “Always better out than in” So don’t feel shy… it just confirms that you are a normally functioning human being.
13. For all ya married buggers out there…. Even if you get knocked out don ever call your wife sonal,pooja etc when u hit da bed… unless her name is one of the above    (that one is a marriage killer)

If you’re a veteran with some tips for them young guns feel free to add to these….. Cheers…

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!

No related posts.

Filed under: Uncategorized